Without You
by driver picks the music
Summary: Based on the Hinder song of the same name. Tommys hearts been broken, but can he really move on without her? Disclamer on profile page


"How's she doing?"

Sadie turned at the sound of his voice, and gave a small nod "She's doing better, she says she's doing good. She sounds better."

Tommy nodded and cleared his throat "Have you gotten to see her yet?" Sadie shook her head "No not yet, they said maybe next week, if she stays on the road she's on now. Right now she only gets to make phone calls."

Tommy nodded again "Good, that's good, I'm glad she's getting the help she needed."

Sadie gave him a small smile and laid her hand on his arm "She said she wants to talk to you, apalogize for everything."

Tommy opened his mouth, but Sadie stopped him "Her doctor said it would probably be a good step for her."

He nodded "Yeah ok, we'll see." Sadie nodded, knowing she couldn't expect more from him, after everything Jude had put him through.

He opened the door to her apartment. He'd been there one time since everything went down, and he didn't feel anymore comfortable now than he had then.

It had been four months three weeks and one day since he'd seen her. It had also bee four months three weeks and one day since he lived through the worst day of his life.

The look on her face when she realized what was going on, what he had done, what he wanted her to do.

He sighed and walked down the hall towards her bedroom, looking for his suitcase that he had left there the last time they had went away together.

Walking back to the front door, all he wanted was to leave as soon as he could, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw the empty place by the door. The place that had at one time held a small table, the same table where he had always tossed his jacket when he walked in. And just like that, the memories he pushed to the back of his mind, sprung to life in front of his eyes.

**Four Months, Two Weeks, And Six Days Ago**

(Without You, Hinder)

i just want to be alone tonight

i just want to take a little breather

'cause lately all we do is fight,

and every time it cuts me deeper

'cause something's changed

you've been acting so strange

and it's taking it's toll on me

it's safe to say,

that i'm ready to let you leave

He walked to the door "Where are you going? We're suppose to have dinner with Sadie and Kwest." Tommy turned and looked at her "I'll call them and tell them I can't make it tonight, you go if you want, but right now I just need to be by myself for awhile."

Jude rolled her eyes "What, we get into on dissagreement, and that's it, you bail?" Tommy took a deep breath and shook his head  
"I don't know what's gotten into you the past couple of months, but it seems to me, that all we ever do anymore, is fight and bicker and I can't take it again right now." He turned toward the door "I'll talk to you tomorrow." With that he grabbed his jacket that was laying on the table by the door and picked it up, not knowing that the sleeve was caught on the drawer nob. When he pulled on it, the drawer pulled open and fell to the floor, and he heard a gasp from behind. Only he couldn't turn to look at her, as his eyes were fixed on the floor and the contense of the drawer.

"What is that?" He said, looking down at the aray of pill bottles now littering the floor, then he turned to Jude. "What is that Jude?" She looked at the floor, unable to meet his gaze, then she looked at him with fire in her eyes "It's not your concern what that is, it's mine." Tommy looked at her, seeing a stranger "Not my concern? How many different kinds of pills are you taking? And are any of them actually yours?"

Jude rolled her eyes "Don't be so stupid, like you've never done anything like this before. I have it under control, it's fine."

**Now**

Tommy shook his head, and headed for the door, thinking about the next day when she went to rehab, all of the awfull things she said to him, and the names she called him. Telling him she never wanted to see him again.

Those two days, were the worst of his entire life. But the few weeks that followed, he found out what it was like to be himself again.

without you

i live it up a little more everyday

without you

i'm taking myself so differently

i didn't want to believe it then

but it all worked out in the end

when i watched you walk away

well i never thought i'd say i'm fine

without you

He didn't have to feel bad about having fun without her, wondering if they would get into another fight that night or not. It was so much better for him, finally knowing what all the fighting was really about.

He locked her door, and turned away, knowing that to really put it all behind him, he needed to talk to her, to finally get the closure that both needed.

* * *

"Tommy?" He closed his eyes, and slowly let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding "Yeah, hi Jude." She let out a sigh "I'm so glad you called. There's so much I want to say to you, so much I need to say. Starting with how sorry I am for what I did to you. All of those things I said to you, you have to know, I didn't mean any of them. I know you helped me, without you, I probably would have ended up killing myself. You saved my life. Thank you."

Tommy didn't say anything for a moment, then he took another breath "I'm glad you're getting the help you need, Sadie said you're doing a lot better." Jude chuckled "Yeah, I think I've started to finally grow up some, found out a lot about myself."

Tommy nodded, then remembered she couldn't see him "Yeah, me too." He sighed "I finally realized how messed up everything was, not just with us, but with me. I've grown up a lot in the past few months also." Jude cleared her throat "I think one of the things I've come to learn, is that you and me? We're great as friends, we're great at work, but...." Tommy chuckled "Yeah, I know what you mean."

i called you up 'cause it's been long enough

and you said that you were so much better

we've done a lot of growing up

we were never ment to be together

'cause something changed

you were acting so strange

and it's taken it's toll on me

it's safe to say,

that i'm ready to let you leave

Jude smiled into the phone, glad to just be talking to him "So what have you been up to, how's your music? Any good songs?" Tommy smiled "Yeah I've got a new one, I wasn't sure if you'd want to hear it, but I think it'll be alright.

'cause something changed

you were acting so strange

and it's taken it's toll on me

it's safe to say,

that i'm ready to let you leave

without you

i live it up a little more everyday

without you

i'm taking myself so differently

i didn't want to believe it then

but it all worked out in the end

when i watched you walk away

well i never thought i'd say i'm fine

without you

without you

without you

without you

i just want to be alone tonight

i just want to take a little breather

He finished the song, and waited. "That was great. I'm glad you're alright." Tommy cleared his throat "Yeah, I want you to be ok to, even if we didn't work out. I'll always be here for you, you know that right? No matter what happened, you're still one of my best friends, that's not going to change."

He heard Jude sniff a little "I've got to go. Thank you for calling, I hope I'll hear from you again soon."

"Of course, I'll call soon, don't worry. Goodbye Jude."

"By Tommy."

He hung up the phone and sighed. Then he smiled, because while things would never work out for them to be together, he knew they would always be friends. No matter what.


End file.
